Focus On The Beautiful

It all started early Saturday morning whilst my wife and I sat in bed talking and sipping our morning cups of coffee. Excitedly she reached down and hauled her notebook computer into bed with us. Just the prior day we’d joined a program that allowed us to visit hundreds of historical sites for free, and she could hardly wait to select one off the web to go visit. When I suggested that perhaps we should pass on that Idea and just go somewhere local, everything changed. She stopped smiling, closed down the computer, and grabbed a book to read. As any married man can attest to, things are at a dangerous point when the book pops up.

Hoping there was some way out of this situation I tried to talk excitedly about going for a walk on the beach (something that she usually gets really jazzed about). With downcast eyes she replied, “I’d rather just go sit in the garden.” My head screamed at me, “Leave it alone!” At the time I just couldn’t. It was the day before Mother’s day and I knew if things went wrong now the bad feelings were liable to carry over. So I did what every well meaning but silly husband does, I tried to talk logically about the situation (though I should’ve known better). And, like every time a man’s logic is mixed with intense female emotions, there was a meltdown of communication. Using the baby’s breakfast as an excuse, I bravely raced out of the room.

A few minutes later the family assembled for breakfast. As we ate, one of my sons mentioned that he needed a new pair of shoes. Had this been the usual run of the mill day, I would’ve lectured him on having worn them out so quickly (I buy him a pair a month on average). But this was no ordinary day! I could’ve grabbed him up and hugged him. This was the buffer I needed. The family would be so busy shopping that surely my wife would forget about our misunderstanding and we could negotiate somewhere fun to go in the area afterwards. I must be honest here and say that this plan went over like a lead balloon.

The entire shopping trip my wife refused to say a word. Then to top it off she drove silently down to the beach. The beach was warm and sunny and the weather divine. It was truly the most pleasing day that we’ve had in months. Families were playing on the shores whilst sailboats drifted by. Right then I wished desperately that I was any one of those smiling people.

We both attempted to talk to one another, but I’m afraid that the communication was still a sizzled mess. After several tries it became quite apparent that silence was still the wisest choice.

As we plodded along, my mind furiously churned. Then, all of a sudden, something really bizarre yet wonderful happened. Without intending it, I went into a hypnotic trance and my mind detached from all the sadness I felt. All of a sudden nothing mattered except the warmth of the sun, the lapping of the waves, and all the laughing people. My mind had filtered out everything negative. Though things weren’t where they should be with my wife, the rest of the walk was a delight.

Sometimes the most joy can be found in simply refusing to focus on the problem. And the best news is, once it wasn’t being focused on, the negativity lost all of its power. Consequently, everything was all right between my wife and I shortly after the walk.